When did being a Regular Black girl become a bad thing?

I’ll admit, I’m not THAT into celebrity news or the gossip blogs, but every now and then I’ll scan these websites to see what’s going on. This morning was no different, I thought I’d do a quick scan before I hopped out of bed and that would be that.. I would soon be on my way! Just like any other day, there was a little Beyonce this and Rihanna that.. the usual. Then I stumbled across this story about Kevin Durant on a date. How trivial? People go on dates everyday. What’s the problem? But what the headline went on to say was that Durant was with a “regular BLACK chick”. 

YIKES! When did being a Black ‘chick’ become a bad thing?

 And God forbid being a ‘regular’ Black ‘chick’. This the writer contrasted with the idea that Durant could or should be dating some ‘exotic’ beauty. I assume the author was implying that his date should have had long flowing hair, rich glowing skin, and any other list of qualities that would make one look the opposite of a ‘regular’ Black ‘chick’. Now, don’t get me wrong.. I think ALL women are beautiful whether from St. Lucia or St. Louis.. so in no way am I trying to demean women from other  cultures, ethnicities, or nationalities, but I think we have to dig deeper into what these messages tell all of the little ‘regular’ Black girls about themselves.     

The writer of the article goes on to say that the Durant and his companion were out on the town and trying to hide from the paparazzi cameras and ends the article with the line “Cute Couple”! Too bad the damage is already done. 

This message along with a litany of others, tells little Black girls that they just aren’t enough! That there beauty isn’t enough, that their minds aren’t enough, that their very existence is not ENOUGH. Now, I know someone reading this is saying that’s not what the article is saying and is calling me out for reading too much into this blog post, but I have to challenge that. 

By calling to our attention that KD (as he is affectionately called), is on a date with a Black woman as if it is out of the norm, says a lot about our culture and how we view Black women. This idea that a man of his social and financial standing could have or should have a ‘different kind’ woman speaks volumes to the value we have placed on Black women. We are essentially saying that once you make it, you no longer have to date Black girls, that the standards for you should be ‘higher’. 

This is where I get all weird inside. Black girls should not be seen as some unwanted alternative. The value, the beauty, the mere presence of all things Black women is being stripped away and SPAT on and it is our job to recognize that. We have to be aware of how these images set the precedence for how others view and understand Black women and girls and how these messages shape the way Black women and girls view and ultimately conceptualize themselves. 

I believe our first job is to be AWARE of what it is that we are allowing to be said about Black women and girls! This image although seemingly harmless on the surface is jam packed with messages that launch a FULL SCALE attack on Black women (specifically Black girls) and their identity. We are under fire and we don’t know who’s attacking us.. and some of us don’t even realize that we are in a fight. Next, we have to be intentional about rejecting and refuting these images! There have to be counter examples; we have to remind the younger generations of their worth and remind them that being a Black girl is an awesome thing. That is why I believe movements like #BlackGirlsRock  are so vital! Given the circumstances we have to have a consistent reminder that being a Black girl is a phenomenal experience, just like being a girl of any other nationality, ethnicity, color, or creed is. No one is better than the other. We just must remind Black girls that their blackness is not a determent, but a unique life experience that is filled with richness, culture, and beauty and that they are not substandard to any other race or ethnicity. Lastly, we are responsible for not reproducing these images. I know I’ve done it a million times. Whether is sending or posting a funny meme or making an off color comment, I have added to the damaging images that negatively impact Black women and girls. It is critical that if we want to change the social landscape we must start by changing ourselves. 

Black women are amazing, valuable creatures not some second place prize.  I believe it is our responsibility to be critical of what we allow to be said about ourselves and to become the gatekeepers who protect the future generations from damaging words and images.  

I think that it is time for us to start reminding ourselves of who we really are!

Please post your thoughts, questions, and comments below!